I was asked during a recent podcast interview about the legacy I hoped to leave behind. I answered the question, but I neglected to mention one important thing: all the words I have invented!
For example, I use the word enoughness a lot. I would like to expand on that word in this chapter, especially as not-enoughness still seems so prevalent - both in my own consciousness and in those I coach and with whom I interact. Indeed, lack is perhaps the most common untruth we entertain, whether it is not enough money, health, time, love, ability, confidence, support, or whatever.
Since I made up the word (as far as I remember, anyway), here is my definition for enoughness: the FEELING of enough; of having, doing and, especially, being enough. Possible synonyms might include contentment or fullness or wholeness.
This distinguishes it from the word enough, which is defined as “the amount or number needed or desired; sufficiency.”
The problem with that latter definition is that my idea of the amount or number that is needed or desired could be completely different from yours. Indeed, my OWN idea of what is enough seems to change all the time, sometimes day to day and even moment to moment.
Time is a good example. Einstein sometimes explained the relativity of time to lay people by saying, “Imagine 10 seconds sitting on a park bench with your lover. Now imagine 10 seconds sitting on a hot stove.”
I can relate. When I make a phone call to tech support, for instance, 15 minutes of excessive politeness and frustration seems like eons!
The other problem with the standard definition of enough is that the feeling of it is often completely independent of any amount or number. We all experience enoughness, and when we do, amounts and numbers generally have nothing to do with it!
For instance, I experience enoughness being in Nature or sitting by water or watching a sunset. I experience it while holding hands with Hillary and when my daughter visits. I experience it while speaking and teaching. In my practice days, I experienced it while adjusting.
I think we all experience not-enoughness as well. And I think we can all agree that it does not feel as good!
It is important for me to remember that neither enoughness or not-enoughness are CAUSED by any outside events or circumstances. Those things can be triggers for me, but enoughness and not-enoughness are inside jobs. Otherwise, I could not feel enoughness while watching a sunset.
Similarly, I could not feel not-enoughness for absolutely no reason whatsoever, which I sometimes do!
Enoughness is not based on amounts or numbers. It is a state of being. A choice of attitude.
One of Elizabeth Taylor’s husbands, Broadway producer Mike Todd, said, “I’ve been broke many times but I have never been poor.” Yes, broke is a temporary circumstance based on numbers, poor is a state of consciousness.
Similarly, enoughness and not-enoughness are not conditions IN life; they are attitudes TOWARD life.
Therefore, if I have created deeply grooved patterns of thinking around not-enoughness, then having more will still not feel like enough.
For example, for many years in my practice, I had a goal of adjusting 500 folks a week. I spent almost a full year adjusting between 450 and 499, and because it wasn’t 500, even 499 did not feel like enough.
When I finally did hit my goal, I felt quite elated for about 11 milliseconds before the auctioneer in my head loudly offered, “Do I hear 600?”
I learned a very valuable lesson that day: the key to feeling enough-ness is finding my heart. My head is too busy being an auctioneer, a time traveler and a “what-might-be-missing detector” to be much help at all.
I realized that my head has trouble even spelling enough, while my heart knows nothing else.
Once I am back in my heart, I immediately rediscover the enoughness of “mundane” things like family, friends, joy, nature – even breathing and simply being.
Yes, the things I value most are all right here in my heart in infinite amounts! But they are also the things I tend to take for granted the most.
Therefore, acknowledging and appreciating the “499” is the quickest ticket to my heart. (In case you have misplaced or buried your heart, I kindly refer you to 65 previous chapters of “Stew on This” for further instructions on finding it.)
Perhaps the most “damaging” lack thought of all is, “I am not-enough.” Wherever that insane belief came from, the answer for me is the same: to look for more enoughness within myself by reclaiming my heart.
Once I access my own enoughness within, it becomes MUCH easier to see it out there.
Folks, the truth is to have a purpose and live it is enough. To learn and grow is enough. To give and receive love is enough. To open our heart and be present to life is enough. To help one person open their heart is enough.
You and I are more than enough, so we might as well allow ourselves to feel it!
Stew on that, and I shall see you next time.
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