Chapter 60: Love is the Only Rational Act
It is time once again to Stew on this! The only thing that matters in the end...
In 3 months, I will be 70 years old. Hillary beat me to it by a few months, as she does every year. I love the fact that she gets to try ages on for size first! By the time my birthday comes around, I generally say, “Oh, I thought I was that old already!”
As I have gotten older, looking more closely at my own mortality, the important things in life become more and more important. Mainly love.
Believe me, I still get caught up in other things that do not really matter at all. But those things seem increasingly less real and I don’t hang out with them nearly as long. I am not nearly as attached to them as I have historically been. They no longer feel like chains around my neck.
Yay, me!
The “basic premise” in Buddhism is translated as “life is suffering.” The idea is that “suffering” (dukkha in Pali) is an intrinsic part of human existence, and it includes birth, aging, illness, death, separation from loved ones, and unfulfilled desires.
This sounds like doom! But some sources say it is an inaccurate translation. Dukkha is more like that itch you cannot quite reach. It is more like a feeling of discontent or something missing. My term for this is “not-enoughness.”
Whatever the term, the feeling arises from our craving and attachment to ever-changing, impermanent things. For chiropractors, this includes numbers, material goals, what people think of us, money, etc.
So, “life is suffering” is not a negative thing – being aware of the consequences of putting our attention on impermanent things can motivate us toward growth, empathy, and self-understanding. It can motivate us to focus on more eternal and unchanging things - the things that really matter.
Again, like love.
It is a Buddhist practice to contemplate our own impermanence in order to learn how we want to live our life. Authors Stephen and Ondrea Levine took this to heart and wrote a book entitled One Year to Live. They imagined it was their last year of life and lived and learned accordingly.
Their conclusion? “Love is the only rational act.”
I agree. Love is the only rational act because it is the only thing that consistently produces meaning, connection, and positive outcomes, even in the face of fear, loss, or death.
Love is the only rational act because it seems to be the only thing that matters at the end of life. I have facilitated quite a few celebrations of life and love is the only topic of conversation; not how many patients per week he or she saw.
If love is the only thing that matters at the end of life, perhaps it is also the only thing that matters now!
Love is the only rational act because when I come from a place of love, then every thought, word AND action is a gift to every single being and to every single atom in this universe.
As the Dalai Lama said:
“Every moment is the most important moment of your life.
No future time is better than now to let down your guard and love.
Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone.
Your posture can shine your heart, or transmit anxiety.
Your breath can radiate love, or muddy the room in depression.
Your glance can awaken joy.
Your words can inspire freedom.
Your every act can open hearts and minds.
Opening from heart to all, you live as a gift to all.
In every moment, you are either opening or closing.
Right now, you are choosing to open and give fully, or you are waiting. How does your choice feel?”
Love is the only rational act, and I know I am going to be irrational sometimes! So, when that happens, I intend to use it as an opportunity to love myself and to choose love in the very next moment.
Love is the only rational act, especially after I choose a less rational act.
Maybe I will have this perfected by my 70th birthday…
Stew on that, and I shall see you next time.
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