Chapter 59: Take No Credit; Take No Blame
It is time once again to Stew on this! Responsibility feels a lot better than blame...
My last few chapters were about trusting in inner guidance and creating time and space for “Innate thought flashes” to come. This has reminded me of several transformative conversations I have had with Innate over the years
One of these happened in 1999. I had just adjusted a 2-month-old child who was born 15 weeks premature. It was his 3rd adjustment, and Shaughn literally came back to life that week.
By that point in my career, I had become accustomed to giving all the credit to Innate and moving on. But Innate chose that moment to rather forcibly remind me that I had indeed played a role. I had “educated” the parents well enough to bring Shaughn in as soon as they got him out of the hospital. I had worked on myself enough to be present with love and to become a safe space for transformation. I had held the highest possible vision for Shaughn with a certainty and expectancy for his healing.
DD Palmer admonished us to “take no credit; take no blame.” This is a fabulous reminder in relation to our patients’ healing and their choices. Assuming responsibility for these things is depleting because we are not the ones doing the healing or making the choices!
On the other hand, when it comes to taking credit, it is vital for me to acknowledge and appreciate my part, my contribution to events and to my own growth.
I can take credit for all the times I showed up when it was hard to, for not getting too sucked into the world’s drama and chaos, for holding good intentions and a high vision for myself and the world, for working toward mastering the arts of adjusting and communication, for growing in certainty, presence and love, etc.
If I do not take credit for these things, I miss out on the benefits of feeling more abundant, fulfilled, and more-than-enough. If I do not take credit for these things, I forget how I used to be, and am not fully aware of my healing, growth and evolution.
I then become like the patient who complains about his or her knee hurting and you have to remind them that when they started care 3 months ago, they were blind!
Before this conversation with Innate, when patients gave me credit for their healing I would reply,” I couldn’t have done it without you.” From that point on, I gave the same reply, but first expressed gratitude for the kind words, and then quietly took satisfaction in knowing I did indeed have something to do with the process.
Now when it comes to taking blame, I am not sure that is ever productive. On the other hand, taking responsibility is always a good idea.
The difference? When someone doesn’t start care or drops out, blame would be something like, “I should’ve…” or “I shouldn’t have…” or simply, “I suck.” Responsibility would be more like, “I am continuing to grow in my ability to be present with love and certainty in my communication.”
If I feel sick or sad or I am having a bad day, blame would be, “I must have been stinkin thinkin.” Responsibility would be, “I create my experience of reality and I am using that principle to change my thinking now to create a better future.”
Or perhaps I have been riding high and feeling yippy skippy for a while, and suddenly it seems as though I completely revert to old patterns of destructive habits. This actually happened the other day! The voice of blame: “I have not been doing my spiritual practice right” or “it has all been a waste of time” or “I’m hopeless.” Responsibility? “I recognize this as an echo of the past. I am leaning into it, knowing this too shall pass, especially with all the tools and awareness I have.”
Responsibility feels a lot better than blame.
Here is the deal: blame has me using the past to disempower myself in this moment; responsibility has me using the present to make a different choice going forward.
Since that conversation with Innate, my intention has been to take credit for that which is mine, and to take responsibility for everything that happens.
Stew on that, and I shall see you next time.
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